![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
At Last! More Nonsense from Paul!
Mar. 16th, 2012
11:05 pm - Happy Asylum Day!
As I was leaving for work this morning, my niece's husband hailed me and recomended that I visit a nearby Blockbuster Video which is going out of business and is selling off its stock in a hurry. "Hot dog!" I thought, "Maybe they'll have some Asylum movies, cheap!" And indeed they did!
You "John Carter of Mars" fans can just fume and fret...cuz that film is a mere big-budget remake of Asylum's 2009 ERB opus, "Princess of Mars"...with Traci Lords!
Despite the title, "100 Feet" is not inspired by "Human Centipede." 
If there is one Asylum title you probably know, it is their classic, "Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus"...I predict it will not be the last of their films to make a huge splash.
More on my new acquisitions tomorrow. I am mega-pleased!
ecstaticMar. 11th, 2012
07:14 pm - Bad, bad "Birdemic" dream!
I had a terrible dream last night: the intended sequel was going to RUIN the movie "Birdemic: Shock and Terror!" I was in a pretty bad mood this morning, until I was completely sure that it had all been the misgivings of my sleeping-yet-skeptical brain.
If you are unfamiliar with "Birdemic" and you enjoy bad movies, words cannot convey how strongly I recommend the film. It is a jaw-dropping experience, from beginning to end; it should be used in film classes. No aspect of the production is competently executed, from the first frame to the last; from this perspective, it is a perfect film. I actually don't want to give anything away; suffice to say, it is intended as an updated remake of Hitchcock's "The Birds," with an ecological slant.
No birds were injured during the making of the film; no birds were used at all, in the making of "Birdemic: Shock and Terror."
Nor were any trees harmed. I think the worst thing that happened was that various people became uncomfortable, or got shouted-at. 
But but but...(you may wonder, if you have had the pleasure of seeing this film) how could anyone RUIN "Birdemic" by producing a sequel...it must seem beyond further reproach? Well, in my unfortunate dream, the script reveals a terrible secret: that the bird attacks had been the shared hallucinatory result of some sort of government-sanctioned mind-control experiment (which explains why only a small group of people seem to be much concerned about the avian phenomenon, and why nearly everybody else they encounter complains about Global Warming, or Spruce Bark beetles or rising gasoline prices or some other problem. (Or, for that matter, the scenes depicting a fair amount of automobile traffic, caused by drivers oblivious to the flocks of ticked-off eagles.) The new script made the grave error of retroactively rendering "Birdemic" somewhat plausible! And by the corniest possible explanation! 
You can imagine how relieved I am, that this was all the twisted imagining of my foolish mind. When a sequel to "Birdemic" arrives, it will surely be as plausibility-challenged as the original. 
relievedFeb. 26th, 2012
05:13 pm - Top-Notch Timewaster!
This afternoon I find myself with a little extra time on my hands, so I've been trying (with varied success) to watch some of the Amazon Studios "Test Movies"...some sort of scheme whereby one can watch storyboarded versions of movies-in-development. At present, one of the example "films" is slooooowwwwly downloading on my Kindle, so my attention has wandered to some of the related pages.
Imagine my amusement, when I discovered "Premise War" halfway down the Amazon Welcome Movie Fans page: Essentially, various aspiring scenarists have submitted brief descriptions of movies they'd like to write, and ordinary folks like me get to compare the merits of these pitches, two at a time.
So...it's Premise A: "Breathing Space" "Wagley Floon is proud of his pet lungs, Lumpy and Quack, however they are abducted by a renegade tobacco salesman while walking in the park. Now Wagley must climb up 'Suicide Cliff' and launch himself into space in order to get them safely returned." Versus Premise B: "Electoral Fever" "The public fails to realize that their popular 'dark horse' candidate in the 2012 Presidential election is not actually a real horse at all! He is, unbeknownst to them, a 6000-year-old mummy with a taste for human corneal fluid, disguised as a horse." Which movie would you rather see? You click on one of the two choices, and you get to see statistics about how many people thought your choice was preferable to some other random choice. And then you can compare another pair of pitches.
What I find most delightful about the exercise is, that they never ask how promising any of the premises sound...just which one is better than the other. In most cases, my response to BOTH examples is "ehhh...no." In many cases, my reaction is, "which film would I pay more money to avoid?" Very few actually sounded like something I would want to watch, which made me wonder how many of these submissions are typed-in by jokers who are trying to see what kind of ratings they can get. Seems that the highest number of comparisons for any of the entries is still under 1000, so either the game is fairly new, or else very few people think the exercise is as diverting as I do.
(By the way, don't go looking for voting statistics on "Breathing Space" or "Electoral Fever"...I made 'em up. But as you will see, I have not mischaracterized the proposed pitches.)
I'm finding the examples kind of inspiring, not because I would like to see any of the proposed movies, nor because I am especially likely to submit any mock-entries, but because it is fun to imagine what entries would be most likely always to lose the comparison, without actually sound boring. My best idea so far is "The Littlest Fingernail" - "Little Teddy knows a hidden secret...that if he can grow one fingernail a just little longer than usual, and poke it into every electrical socket he sees, one day the Magic Wall Socket will grant special powers to the fingernail, to use as a wand. Of course, nobody believes Teddy, but someday he'll show them!" I think everyone will be happier if I don't add that to the throng of legitimate movie proposals. But it would surely make people think twice.
amusedFeb. 22nd, 2012
07:32 am - I cannot wait to see This Movie!
I rarely pay much attention to upcoming film releases, but I am looking forward to Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies. This is not the same film as the much higher-profile Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter...and it will surely seem cheap and silly by comparison. However, this pic of Bill Oberst Jr. as Abe Lincoln holding a big ol' bloody scythe...well, it amuses me much more than any advance stills I've seen of the vampire flick.
Sometime soon, I'll rant about "The Asylum," the company that makes these super-low-budget straight-to-DVD melodramas; they are the present-day successors to Monogram, Producers Releasing Corporation, and American International Pictures. Their productions are cheap, silly, and often stupid; I can't honestly recommend most of the Asylum movies I've watched...and yet I am developing a high regard for the company. I'll have more to say about them later.
excitedFeb. 14th, 2012
08:43 am - I get mentioned on the "Family Movie Night" podcast
Woo hoo! On the latest "Family Movie Night" podcast, they read aloud my LJ post of a few weeks back. I'm glad y'all enjoyed it!
The question was raised: since I mentioned that I have purchased several movies, based on the enthusiastic recommendations of the FMN folks, exactly which movies were they? (And, corollary to those purchases, was I satisfied?) Here they are:
Endhiran (2010)
This is a highly-entertaining Tamil film about an obsessive scientist and his attempts to build a humanoid robot. I don't want to give too much away, but the production includes a lot of special effects.
Godzilla (1954)
I had seen the original Godilla with subtitles, nearly twenty years ago, and found it somewhat interesting. I've never been wild about the films (the only one I bothered to see during its original theatrical run, was "Destroy All Monsters") and yet I've come to realize that the problem lies with me, not Godzilla. Since it would be a huge omission in my collection, to ignore them all, it seemed like a good idea to buy the original, since a nice transfer is now available.
And...not because I hadn't seen it before, but because I had forgotten how much I like it:
Poltergeist (1982)
Am I satisfied with my purchases? Pretty much...though I have not yet been able to afford the time to watch Endhiran all the way through (runtime approaches three hours!)
I'm sure these will not be the last.
By the way, I've had that darn Killian MacGeraghty song stuck in my mind since hearing it on the podcast. Thanks a lot. (Actually, I do like it, so it's not TOO dreadful to get trapped in my neurons.)
amused06:01 am - This is new to me
I recently got my prescriptions refilled, and the pharmacist took a few moments to lecture me about one of the medicines in the bag. I presume that some court case is pending, on the basis of "nobody TOLD ME that my prescription would make my eyes shrivel like raisins if I took my normal dosage, combined with huffing airplane glue..." So she had to make sure that I got the full disclosure about stuff that might combine unfavorably.
But that's not the item pictured here. My month's supply of Provigil (to reduce drowsiness due to sleep apnea) always comes plastered with warning stickers, my favorite of which is "May Cause Dizziness":
...yet I've never before received the pill bottle with a tightly-folded warning leaflet glued on its cap like a comedic party hat. Festive, isn't it?
This prompted me to read the sheaf of informational pamphlets, just in case Modafinil has been the source of any new side-effects...which it has. (Either that, or I just haven't been paying attention.) Happily, the only side-effect I've observed in my own person, is that it can make me even more jittery during times of stress, an effect easily mitigated by taking a half-pill. It's also fortunate that I tend to be cautious of pharmaceuticals, as a general thing, so I am likely to be alert for strange new symptoms as they appear.
Oh, and in case the topic comes back again (which it will), my occasional bouts of vertigo are the result of congestion, not a side-effect of Modafinil.
awakeFeb. 7th, 2012
06:39 am - A fairly ordinary dream veers unexpectedly
I dreamt that I was watching an old TV episode in which a woman followed her husband's suspected lover into a park at night, struggled with her during an argument, and then returned home, injured. Suspense was added to the "limping home" sequence, as she attempted to ask passersby for help, only to be ignored (or engaged in a surreal conversation with an old blind woman.) Of course, the implication of the sequence was that the betrayed wife had been killed in the park, and that her (injured, limping) disembodied spirit had been staggering home, unaware that she was beyond assistance.
As expected, her husband ignored her at first when she arrived home, and she wondered aloud what was going on (just as the viewing audience would have wondered why she hadn't figured out she was dead)...when suddenly the husband's lover emerged from another room, and attacked her with a sword! The sword-wielding, maniacal girlfriend had been threatening the husband to ignore the wife and say nothing until she was within reach. Then a lot of running-around ensued, and I woke up as they were climbing up onto the roof of the house.
The plot is pretty implausible (might've worked as an episode of "Boris Karloff's Thriller" now that I think of it) but I'm amused that my sleeping brain said to itself, "I can see where this story is going" and then made an effort to imagine a less-obvious solution to the situation it had set up.
amusedFeb. 5th, 2012
10:31 pm - I just saw "The Laramie Project" performed by the Bridgeport Theatre Company
Tonight I attended the Bridgeport Theatre Company production of "The Laramie Project"...and a very fine production is is, indeed! In fact, it would have been a fine production, even if it had not included my sister Katy (in several roles.)
There will be three more preformances, and I recommend it to any of my readers who may be close enough to attend.
sleepyFeb. 3rd, 2012
07:50 am - Person of Interest - Episode 13: Root Cause
I have enjoyed the TV series "Person of Interest" thus far. Kind of. It's funny: I know I have watched each episode, yet the next day I am usually unable to recall any details of the most recent segment. Perhaps the show is embedded with subliminal messages to make me disremember the specifics...or maybe I don't pay close attention, the plots are unremarkable and the dialogue is standard. At least I don't spend my time rolling my eyes and wondering if I should just watch something else ("A Gifted Man" provoked that response, as I recall.)
Last night's episode ventured into the topic of sinister-genius-computer-hacking, a subject which was handled so incompetently on "Bones" as to de-rail an episode (and possibly a multi-part storyline) a few weeks ago. I feared the worst, but the "automated software 'worm' attacking the hero's network" plot device was handled plausibly...provided you can accept that Mr. Finch is stupid enough to set up his internal network with minimal security. Frankly, I have less trouble accepting Finch's feeble network security skills, than I do the premise of the entire show (which is that there is a super-super-duper computer surveilance system capable of spying on everybody in the country, simultaneously.)
That sounded awfully snide, but I was pleased that the episode did NOT sound like it was written by somebody who knows nothing at all about computers. I probably won't forget all the details of "Root Cause" the way I did all the previous episodes. Good work Richard J. Lewis! 
On the other hand, there was one detail earlier in the show, which made me shout "WHAT!?" Mr. Finch and John Reese are sitting in their car, watching Scott Powell a man they suspect is either going to commit a crime, or be the victim of a crime. He seems to be a well-meaning but unemployed family man...however they suspect he may harbor a grudge against Michael Delacey, a politician whose legislation somehow put him out of a job.
John Reese: Why would Powell be working a fundraising job for Congressman Delancey? (pause)
John Reese: Does he own any registered weapons?
Mr. Finch : Carter said he'd applied for a firearms license...a rifle.
I repeat: WHAT!? In the state of New York, you don't need a license to own a rifle. (I own a rifle, and I sure don't got no steenking license.) Screenwriter Richard J. Lewis is Canadian, which may account for his error, but you would expect that somebody, somewhere among the production team, would have noticed and replaced the line with something about a "background check before purchase" (which the state DOES require) instead of a Rifle License, which is a fabrication.
Oh well...it didn't ruin the plausibility of the episode for me, but I have to wonder if the same level of accuracy was applied to the "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" episodes Lewis scripted.
amusedFeb. 2nd, 2012
08:31 pm - Watched Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull today
Today I watched the DVD of the fourth Indiana Jones movie, loaned to me by my niece's husband.
I was entertained. It was silly, yet not so much as to be out-of-line with the first three. Weaker in a number of ways, yet enjoyable.
I know a lot of people (particularly the South Park guys, bless 'em) hated the movie passionately. I think I missed the aspects that inspired their rage.
Can any of y'all describe (in 25 words or less) why this entry was so detested? Doesn't have to be your personal opinion...just the consensus of the folks who took it as an insult.
tiredNavigate: (Previous 10 Entries)
